10 Ways to Manage Aggression and Agitation in Dementia Patients

When a loved one has dementia, the emotional burden is already great. But when that diagnosis comes along with the unexpected explosions of rage, frustration, or even violence, the experience can become profoundly overwhelming—sometimes downright scary. Keep in mind: these episodes are manifestations of the disease, not expressions of who your loved one really is.

Agitation and aggression among dementia patients usually stem from confusion, discomfort, or failure to clearly communicate needs. Discovering the reason or the why is the beginning. The second is how to react with calmness, dignity, and compassion.

The following are 10 strategies that can be employed by families and caregivers to cope with these difficult situations.

1. Remain Calm and Centered

It may be your natural impulse to mirror their energy—particularly when a person screams or explodes—but remaining calm is essential. Breathe. Speak softly. Practice slow, deliberate movements. Your tone of voice and body language can increase or diffuse the situation.

More times than not, your loved one is drawing energy from you. By remaining present, you are acting as a anchor in their time of crisis.

2. Find the Triggerbody language

Behavior does not simply appear out of thin air. Was there some loud noise? Too many individuals present? Did they get in a hurry while bathing or getting dressed? By understanding what precipitated the behavior, you can try to prevent it next time.

Maintain a plain journal of what occurred prior to, during, and after an episode. With time, tendencies tend to appear.

3. Validate, Don’t Argue

One of the most difficult things to master is to refrain from correcting. If your loved one adamantly states that they must “go to work” or that somebody swiped their purse, your instinct will be to try to rational with them. However, logic won’t placate a person who has dementia.

Instead, validate their feelings:

“You seem worried about your purse. Let’s take a look around together.”

You’re not agreeing with a falsehood—you’re joining them in their emotional world.

4. Create a Calming Environment

Noise, clutter, and bright lights can be overstimulating for someone with dementia. Try to keep their surroundings as peaceful as possible. Soft lighting, minimal background noise, and familiar items can make a big difference.

• Play soothing music

• Have cherished items within reach

• Use calming scents like lavender or vanilla

5. Create a Routine with Predictability

Dementia tends to make the world seem random and confusing. A routine on a daily basis provides predictability, which can deliver a feeling of security.

• Schedule meals, activities, rest time, and hygiene around the same time of day

• Predictability minimizes confusion—and with it, minimizes behavior flare-ups

6. Practice Gentle Redirection

If the person you care about is getting upset or stuck on something disturbing, redirect them instead of challenging them.

Simple distractions like:

• “Let’s take a walk”

• “Would you assist me in folding these towels?”

…could be all it takes to get them out of misery and provide a sense of direction.

7. Look for Physical Discomfort

Pain, hunger, thirst, constipation, or even the need to go to the bathroom may all lead to agitation in an individual who cannot communicate what they’re experiencing.

A violent outburst may be their sole means of expressing that something hurts or doesn’t feel right. Checking in regularly and having an eye on their physical well-being can help these silent problems boil over.

8. Secure Support from a Professional Care Team

You don’t have to go it alone. Doctors, neurologists, geriatric psychiatrists, and staff at memory care facilities are all trained to work with dementia-related behavior.

• Medications may be considered in some cases

• Professionals can provide strategies, resources, and respite care

Even before medication is considered, professionals can help balance life again for you.

9. Take Care of Yourself Too

This can’t be said enough: caregivers need care too. Dealing with aggression from a loved one you’re trying to protect is emotionally exhausting.

If you’re burned out or constantly on edge, you’re less able to provide the gentle patience dementia care requires. Don’t feel guilty for needing a break, asking for help, or seeking support from others who understand this journey.

• Join a support group

• Go to a therapist

• Confide in someone you trust

You are important too.

10. It’s the Disease, Not the Person

When a person with dementia gets angry and says things they do not mean, it is easy to feel personally attacked or hurt. But that person you love—the mother, wife, or grandmother you have known your whole life—is still there, even though they cannot communicate in the same way as before.

Remembering that it’s the disease, not them, shields your heart.

Compassion does not equal tolerating risky behavior—but it does mean reacting to it with understanding, not blame.

Final Thoughts

Dementia with behavioral symptoms such as agitation and aggression can be like sailing through a storm without a compass. But with proper strategies, the waves will subside. What your loved one requires most during these times is safety, structure, and someone who looks at them—not the illness.

Your presence counts even in the most difficult moments.
Your patience counts.
And your love, though strained, is the greatest weapon of all.

If you are hurting, know this: you are not isolated. Help is available. Hope is available.
And so is peace—no matter how it arrives, one moment at a time.